Many years ago I came up with the idea of making a conscious choice to choose your word for the year. As humans we are trained to set a goal or a new year's resolution for the upcoming year. Then we punish ourselves when we do not live up to that expectation.
In choosing a word for the year it trains our mind to keep our head in the solution and not the problem. It also helps us with practicing mindfulness. When we are struggling during the year with an issue we can focus on our word to bring us back to the present moment.
Years ago when this idea came to me I chose the word "allowing". I am so grateful for my first intentional word that directed me during that year. It saved me so many times.
My son and I use to struggle in arguments when he was younger. On a Saturday many years ago I was teaching a class and he was texting me saying that I wasn't allowed to ever see my grandson again. Instead of reacting I texted him and said I would stop by when my class was over. He told me I was not allowed at his home.
When class was over I packed up my car and headed over there. He came out on his porch and told me that he had stated I wasn't welcome at his home. As I tried to find out what was going on, the energy between us escalated and things were about to become physical. Instead of fighting with him I walked down his steps and he told me; "that's right you better get out of here". My ego wanted to stay and argue, and I may have said a negative thing to him like; son I hope you seek help. Then I thought about it, what was I doing, what was my word again? That's right, my word was allowing. I needed to allow my son to be exactly where he was in that moment. There was nothing I could do to change his mind or change his thinking. I needed to remind myself to allow my son to just be who he needed to be in the present moment.
That same year I was out on a date when I was notified that I had been tagged on Facebook. As I read the post it was from my youngest child saying; "Sorry Mom I had to do it. I bought a one way ticket to Iceland." I told my date there was an emergency and excused myself. When I walked into the house I asked my daughter what was going on. I reminded her that the money she had saved was a cushion in case her car broke down. She said she used it to buy a one way ticket to Iceland and she was also tired of me telling her what to do. She said she would be moving out over the weekend but leaving her items in her room. I was filled with anger and told her that if she goes her things were to go with her since my home was not a storage center. Sure enough my heart was broken and she moved out that Saturday.
I felt so much sadness I did not really eat, drink, or shower for 4 days. It was rainy outside and I just laid in bed crying. I heard a knock at my door and it would not stop. I walked myself down the stairs and opened the door and it was was-band (ex husband). He said he heard I was laying around not watching television or movies so he brought me over a DVD player. He said; "Leigh, you did your job. You raised our children, now is the time for you. I hugged him and he left.
As I went to crawl back in bed the young man I was dating texted me (he was 27 and I was 42). He asked if I was still laying in bed. I told him yes, he said well come downstairs and let me in because I am here on your front porch. I was horrified because I had not showered or functioned in four days. I went downstairs and let him in and he hugged me. He then took my hand and led me up the stairs and took me right into my daughter's empty room. We sat down and faced one another. He said; "Leigh, what is your word for this year?" I closed my eyes crying and said allowing. My boyfriend then said to me; "Leigh, you are not allowing Tia to walk her path, this is part of her journey." When he reminded me of my word and preached my own lesson back to me it became clear. Choosing a word for the year will help people to stay in the present moment and help with many heartaches, expectations, and arguments.
Each year I encourage clients and students to begin thinking of a word that will help them stay on their path during the year. A few of my other words I have chosen over the years have been "savoring" as appreciating or savoring the moments in my life. Inspire has been another word that has helped guide me to stay on my path to inspire others live the best life they can live.
This year coming up (2019) my word will be collaborating. I have been seeing the trend of so many other teachers and healers coming into my life. By collaborating with others we can provide teachings to create a more mindful society to live and work in.
May this blog serve as a tool to help you be mindful and stay in the present moment. Drop us a line and let us know what your word is or if this blog has helped you.