Many clients I see put responsibility on others for their sorrow, happiness, pleasure, success, and failures. During the month of September I have been posting and asking people to step into their own power of self - awareness. One may think, how do I do something like this? It is a daily practice.
At times I hear people say; "well, I cant help it, thats the way I was raised. My parents and their parents have a history of that issue." At times you overhear someone saying well its genetics there isn't really anything I can do about it.
I often hear someone who is so stuck in their story. This is how they thrive to stay alive. They get someone who will listen to their negative thoughts and emotionally vomit all over that person. If however, they get someone who is practicing self-awareness that person may stand in their power and refuse to listen to the drama (boundaries). It does'nt mean that the person who is practicing self-awareness has to be mean. The person practicing self-awareness just refuses to let the person drain them of their energy.
Perhaps it's time to take responsibility for your self.
Here are a few thoughts on how you can practice self-awareness:
Set an intention before you begin your day
Practice meditation
Be present (this can also mean bringing the person back to this moment)
Be mindful of how your body is responding to your surroundings
Set boundaries for yourself and others
Set an intention before you begin your day
You are the captain of your ship! I encourage you to wake up and be grateful for another day. Before you even start your day say out loud, write it down somewhere, set an alarm on your phone, your intention for the day. I WILL bring happiness to myself throughout the day. I AM worthy of all the good that comes my way. I choose to not worry about things I can not change. I will walk tonight after work. These are just a few examples of intentions to start your day.
Practice Meditation
All of us hear meditation throughout our society nowadays. However, have you found a meditation that works for you? This could mean many different things like:
Walking Meditation
Journaling Meditation
Visual Mediation
Guided Meditation
Staring at a candle meditation
Getting quiet and going within meditation
Manifesting meditation
The list for meditation goes on and on. I recomend a great guided meditation for anyone who is interested in finding a new way to meditate. "The Honest Guy's" have wonderful visual and guided meditations on Youtube and Facebook.
Be present (this can also mean bringing the person back to this moment)
"Did you hear that Tom was arressted for domestic violence?" "I heard Suzanne is having an affair." "I was beat so badly as a child and thats why I ended up in a violent relationship". People love telling their stories and living in the past.
As a society we need to learn to stay strong and keep people including ourselves in this moment, and in this moment. How can you evolve as a human if you are stuck in your story and going in circles?
Be mindful of how your body is responding to your surroundings
Many years ago when I was going through a divorce I went out to lunch with a co-worker. As I tried to relive my story he sat with his hands together and fingers against his lips listening. I thought oh this must be good for him to be so focused on listening. As I took a breath he asked me to be aware of my body as I told my story. As I started back telling my story I noticed my hands and arms fliailing around. My co-worker showed me that when I went to say something I would lunge forward to get more of his attention. It was embarassing, however a wake up call. It did not matter what was happening in my divorce journey. What mattered was, what was happening right now at lunch.
As we are going about with our story if we are responding in such a dramatic way, what do you think that is doing to your body? Possilby causing pain, illness, high blood pressure? Be aware of telling your story and bring yourself back to the breath and the present moment.
Set boundaries for yourself and others
This is a very difficult one for people. Do you let people walk all over you, bully or abuse you? Setting boundaries takes alot of practice. Maybe you do not like the way someone always is so negative or gossips? Have you ever told them? Do they continue to go against your wishes (boundaries)?
Practice setting boundaries. A few years ago my son thought I was his personal bank. Once I set the boundarie with him that I am sorry, I can help you with a budget but I am completely out of money, that behavior stopped.
I have a group of clients that get together and are extremely negative. After 5 minutes of listening to the gossip and negativity I wish them well and excuse myself. Some have asked why don't you hang around longer? I finally told them if there is negativity and gossip going on I refuse to engage in that behavior. If you want to talk about some positive things going on I will participate.
Know what boundaries work for you and become aware when people are not respecting your boundaries.
Self - awareness is a wonderful practice to bring happiness to you life on a daily basis. It does take practice, however when it catches hold your life will change for your highest good.
If you need guidance on your journey I offer Skype, email, in person, workshops, and phone sessions. Please feel free to contact me to learn about my programs.
775-688-9837